Watching Soap Operas with the Repo Men; Credit: Unsplash When they kidnapped me the third time I remembered the coins in their mouths. The shape of a quarter pressed out against their cheeks. I like the way her hair smells, one of them said. Another smacked the man hard and said, we’re here to do a job not sample the merchandise. Back then we all used Johnson & Johnson’s baby shampoo, you know, the one that promised no more tears and we laughed because we were nothing if not mournful. Our home was a bank and sadness filled the vaults — but that’s not important now. What you need to know is that four men stood over my bed and apologized for what they were about to do. These were the kind of men who walked through your front door without masks because they already had a set of your keys. Consider us repo men, they said the first time, and you’re what we like to call collateral . One of them, who bore a remarkable resemblance to Tom Selleck in h...
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